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  Nirvana

      Nirvana is one of the biggest legends of Grunge. A new music style began with them. The band Nirvana consists of Kurt Cobain, the bandleader and guitarist, Dave Grohl, the drummer and Krist Novoselic, the bassist. Krist and Kurt created Nirvana in the late 80’s, when Seattle admits more for his continuous rain, than for music. Of Grunge sill nobody had heard, as 1989 their debut album “Bleach” came out. On that CD, you can hear very aggressive music.

On stage they were very aggressive too, they smashed all their instruments. At that time they were not rich and so, they had to repair the instruments themselves after the concerts. Two years later the scene totally had changed. “Nevermind” was on top, the single “Smells Like Teen Spirit” achieved the Top Ten and Nirvana saw themselves suddenly in a big fuss, which nobody had been able himself to present. Many albums followed after Nevermind like Inseticid, In Utero, From The Muddy Banks Of The Whiskar and Unplugged In New York, which was a live album. The admiration of that band took curious forms.

The American youth imitated Nirvana with the eagerness of religious fanatics. Each word that Kurt sang or wrote was up-sucked. Woollen hats, flannel shirts and torn jeans were the uniform of this new religion. Only: The sensitive Cobain had not been up to his role as Jesus of the Grunge nation. In an interview he sad: “I don’t want to be a superstar”. The sudden fame, the millions, the admiration of the fans were too much for him.

But he was not alone with his problems. Kurt took heroin and Krist pale to the alcohol. Kurt was married with the punk rock lady Courtney Love and they had a daughter called Frances Bean. On the tour in Rome Kurt fell in unconsciousness and had to stay a long time in hospital. So the tour was refused. When he got out of the hospital he had to get clean but he couldn’t stand it for a long time.

All started again and Nirvana was at the end. Kurt was found on 8’th April 1994 with an overdose heroin in his blood and shot with a rifle. The death shocked Millions of people. But after Kurt’s death Krist became clean with the help of his wife. The band resolved itself after the tragedy and Dave and Krist went new ways. Dave created the “Foo Fighters” and Krist crated the band “Sweet 75” together with the singer Yva Las Vegas.

But the death of Cobain brings many doubts with itself. The faithful fans maintain up to today that he were murdered and some things speak in such a way for it: Kurt had as much heroin in his blood, that he would not have been any more in the status the deduction to operate. The parting letter was a forging Kurt wanted to be separated from Courtney Love. Courtney offered “EL Duce”, a friend of Kurt and Courtney cash to kill Kurt. And two days after “EL Duce” told this, he died on mysterious dead. There were no finger marks on the gun and on the letter.

And still much more.       The suicide note:   Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complained. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it’s my embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we’ re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins.

It doesn’t affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any of you. It simply isn’t fair to you, and to me. The worst crime can think of would be pull people by faking it, pretending as if I had one 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as thought I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me, I do, but it’s not enough.

I appreciate the fact that I, and we have affected, and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of the narcissists who only appreciate things when they are alone. I’m too sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm. But, what’s sad is our child. On our last three tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation of all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music. But I still can’t get out the frustration, the guilt and the sympathy I have for everybody.


There is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive unappreciative Pisces Jesus man! Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know! I have a of a wide who sweats ambition and empathy, and a daughter reminds me to much of what I use to be. Fill of love and joy, every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self destructive, deathrocker she become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Empathy only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you from the pit of my of my burning nauseas stomach for your letters and concern during the last years. I’m too much of a neurotic moody person an I don’t have the passion anymore, so remember, it’s better to burn out, than fade away. Peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain.

  Frances and Courtney, I’ll Be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney for Frances for her life which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!

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